whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
