when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
