coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
