this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
