She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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