That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
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The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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