and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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