in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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