well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
i believe in u and ur pee
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
