a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Randomize
