he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
