My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
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I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
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The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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