take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
