I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
