omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize