his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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