Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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