She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
