i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
