Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Randomize