I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
