Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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