Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(509): View more from Washington

I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago

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(217): View more from Illinois

i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.

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(870): View more from Arkansas

Chalk up having sex in a car wash.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?

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(503): View more from Oregon

I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"

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