please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
She told me I should be a condom model.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
