Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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