Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize