Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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