Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
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We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
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Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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