I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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