this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
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legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
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Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.