yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.