He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious