i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I need water and some morals
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
