Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i think my tv is drunk
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
