So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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