I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
My ATM looks so different sober.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
