Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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