let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
