Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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