so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
