Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
