"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Randomize
