Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I have feelings that need drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize