She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
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