OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize