I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
