how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Just invented taco cereal.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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