All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize