i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
