I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
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