from now on my penis is your penis
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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