His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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