Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
