508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Randomize
