umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Randomize
