dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm just crazy horny about you
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
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