you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
