I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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