I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
