Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
