He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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