Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
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