physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
