We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
