Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
