Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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